Learning to discern your feelings is a valuable skill to acquire. When your feelings are intense, it is likely that you will recognize the most evident feelings such as angry or sad. Unbundling your feelings means noticing what feelings lie beneath the primary emotion. Imagine distinguishing feeling angry from feeling rejected. Both are likely going to create a powerful reaction, yet the ability to recognize the feeling of rejection will assist you in finding a coping strategy. Learning to sort out your feelings will provide valuable information to help you free yourself from the grip of the emotion and add richness to your emotional resilience.
• Describe the event that upset you
• List all the emotions you feel
• Ask yourself what other emotion lies behind those I have already listed
• Explore strategies to sooth yourself now that you have identified the emotions that are unsettling you.
• Celebrate your ability to manage your emotions.